Tomorrow is my birthday, I am teetering on the legal cusp of adulthood. It isn't that which bothers me, it is the thougth that my formative years are behind me. Yes, people change, but the vast majoring of the shaping and moulding of who I am as a person is over.

I could look back and wish I had done more, studied latin more diligently, practiced my calligraphy more often and stitched more hankies, but than the thought occurs to me, what is so terribly wrong with being who I am today? Not that I want to settle complacently and float along for the rest of my life, but the trials which I have endured are truly priceless.

I also remember how old eighteen seemed, how far in the distant future, how "together" my life would be, how mature I would be... but I digress. Besides, that is completely unorigonal, everyone thinks that about every birthday. With the exception of Fredd, he never thinks what is thought by normal people, but I am rambling again.

At the age of eighteen with the days of my youth behind me, what have I done to change society? What have I done to show gratefulness to my parents for their tender love and devotion? Is the world a better place because of my eighteen years of existance? Doubtful. But it is how I choose to make a difference in the lives of those around me for the next eighteen years that I can change. It is thanking my parents daily for all they have invested in me and never forgetting. It is trying valiently in everything I do to show a tiny bit of the love of Christ that has been given to me.


In other thoughts of being eighteen, the funny thing about it is that people suddenly view you as reponsible and mature, if someone askes me on Thursday what I am doing with my life and I rattle off my plan, it will sound normal and benign. Whereas if I told the same person that yesterday, their eyes would widen in the sheer wonder of being in the same room with such a "intelligent and incredible" person. Funny how a little number changes the way people look at you. I think if I were God, age would not even be mentioned. But if I were God than their would be no speed limits, no tourists and we would not have to sleep, so maybe it's a good thing I am not God.


There. I have posted my deep birthday thoughts so tomorrow will not be marred with depressing thoughts of responsibility and purpose. I will have a happy birthday and smoke cigars to my heart's content.

Just kidding.

Maybe.