Made Me Laugh

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For those of you who are familiar with my Feed The Boyfriends Campaign it is a initiative to get Sarah to be nice to boyfriends and stop poisoning their food. Part of my exercises have included communicating on a civil level to these creatures.

It has actually prompted interesting conversation and I have discovered that one paticular boyfriend, who was on the verge of dying by, well, something, is actually quite amusing.

Evidenced as follows:

Now may I brag… I have been requested by an area church, to create a music program, and train a worship leader. I have been endeavoring in this goal for some months now. Sound kinda impressive, right? Right…

Now for the rest of the story. So I walk into the church the first day and I meet two people that will forever be etched in my mind, such as a wood-burning tool would carve a scar into the butt of a horse.

Meet Joanne – who asked me what a dark note was...bringing to mind mental images of star wars or some demonic song. THE DARK NOTE.

Then there is Dave, who is otherwise known as Harry. The best of it is that his last name is “Swineheart.” He is the fattest, gentlest, stupidest, self-assumingist guy you will ever meet. He firmly believes that his voice rivals Frank Sonatra’s, and made me sit in his car for a half-an-hour listening to unaccompanied, self-recorded, songs that honestly caused me pain to listen to. He then looked at me with expecting eyes, and there was nothing else I could do but tell him he had potential.

I have a music session every two weeks, and the scum of the church show up, just to see how off they can pitch their notes. But as a good little child, I tell them they are doing wonderful… But, for real, they try, and they come to learn from me, I wouldn’t. I really truly am grateful for the opportunity. That was Pollyanna.

Don't worry, I am not completely letting him off the hook with such a amusing email, he will still be kept under careful watch.

Remember. Sarah. Is. Watching.

1 Responses to “Made Me Laugh”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous 

    "I’m so glad to have amused you master." Yes tacky, but necessary to maintain Sarah's assumed grip...yes I'll hear about this one.
    From, the fearful one

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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