Belated Thanksgiving

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Since The Blog Doctor has healed my template, I shall now say all the lovely things that were supposed to be said on Thanksgiving, all the warm fuzzy thoughts that make the world go round. I cannot, however, pretend all is simply peachy and paint generally glorious pictures, I must be perfectly and pointedly honest. As I have been told is my signature style.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful (or trying to be) for:

The Dogs. I used to hate them, but they are becoming quite nice. They cuddle at your feet, eat your nasty food scraps and bark when people drive in the driveway. Drawbacks: They have silent deadly farts that cause you to glare frozenly at your dinner guests, hoping it was the dogs, but inwardly knowing IT WAS THE GUESTS.

Joy. Supposedly I used to hate her too. Actually, I remember quite well when I hated her, and vice versa. Joy always manages to make me laugh, even if it means singing in the shower, singing loudly off-key while putting on her makeup OR SINGING WHILE I AM TRYING TO GO TO SLEEP.
Drawbacks: See the dogs drawbacks. Just kidding. See the bit about singing while I am trying to sleep.

Laura. Laura is proverbial curl to the feather. She is quirky, creative and always gives everything extra sparkle. She helps me see the bright side of things while encouraging my wild ideas, and just plain laughs at my stupid ones.
Drawbacks: There are only so many silver linings TO ONE FREAKING CLOUD.

Fredd: Fredd cracks me up. He is so... Fredd. Truly he is indescribable. But, he does try to be thoughtful and caring when he thinks of it. Which is for the most part. He demonstrates a keen talent for quickly putting me in my place.
Drawbacks: You can only be beheaded with a nerf gun so many times before it begins to lose it's luster.

Zach: I have a great appreciation for anyone who lets me tickle them, loudly shout "NAKED TURTLE DANCE" and let me ruffle his hair violently.
Drawbacks: I have never more personally wanted to assasinate Adam Sandler. He should not be allowed to act any longer.

Teresa: Anyone who can introduce Dad to one of her dearest friends, have him make boob jokes the entire time and manage to keep a sane level of decorum gets my deepest kudo's. She has tried so very hard to make our family, a family. And is doing an amazing job.
Drawbacks: Your just supposed to KNOW you don't tell Dad about the suspended license. It's called Mother's Intuition.

Dad: Ah Dad! Where do we even begin? I must say, Dad has mellowed quite a bit in his old age, but having a role model for the balance of insanity and fearless rebellion has always inspired me to be the odd one. Forget about beating to your own drum! Tat to your own pattern and who says you need drums? Just bellow, dammit!
Drawbacks: Even hippos get tired of bellowing.

Some of these are obviously a touch toungue-in-cheek and I only say this because if I didn't, my family might take me seriously AND THAT IS VERY, VERY SCARY. Even more scary than seeing Naked As A Jaybird and The Booty Dance. (You never want to know, trust me.)

I am deeply grateful for allot of things. Of course the generic friends, family, etc. But I am profoundly grateful for the ability to speak my mind, to live in a free country, to wake up every morning with a different plan to save the world, to have a family that loves me even when I have zits the size of small mountains, friends that actually talk to me and even CLEAN UNDERWEAR.

Happy late Thanksgiving everyone.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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