I Hate Her Already


E-mail this post



Remember me (?)



All personal information that you provide here will be governed by the Privacy Policy of Blogger.com. More...



My dear Pageant Barbie sister was waxing eloquent this morning of her new plan for weight loss and exercise for Miss Delaware. Fabulous.

Except, I just know, deep down in my little knower, that she is going to turn into one of those pathetic scraps of a human being who is shriveled, skinny and drinks their diet coke through a straw, all the while pinching their flesh between their fingers, yelping for you to LOOK AND SEE HOW FAT THEY ARE.

Ok. That was mean. But, you can at least pray that she doesn't turn into that, because it would then force me to show my serial killer side.



Not necessarily a good thing, since I cannot aim a gun worth... anything.


1 Responses to “I Hate Her Already”

  1. Blogger joy 

    I do NOT do the "look how fat I am!" thing. And you know it so STOP ACCUSING ME OF SUCH AWFULNESS. But I am going to have wicked hot abs. SO THERE.

Leave a Reply

      Convert to boldConvert to italicConvert to link

 


This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


the past

archives


ATOM 0.3