I Succumbed


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Because I am sitting here, in such sheer boredom, I have succumbed for the first time in my blogging life to using a stupid form thing. Someone did it to me.

Mock me. Ridicule me. Whatever. I'm game.

The Official rules of the Interview-Game

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions
6. I will answer reasonable follow up questions if you leave a comment.


1) Why the name "Porkchop"?

Because, I have porky chops. Or chubby cheeks. Or a delightful baby face, depending on who you ask. Actually, a blog reader coined that name, and it just kinda works, for now.

2) Being a young professional, what excites you most about growing old: retirement, wrinkles, or dealing with young whipper snappers trying to take away your job?

Being able to lord seniority over the young upstarts. Which I am right now. Retiring and eating twinkies for life.

3)What really ticks you off everytime?

Lots of things. That is going to be my next list, 100 Pet Peeves. Driving slow, people who pick their noses, cold french fries, lukwarm milk, guys who don't have enough spine to ask you out.

4) Who was your "first love", where is he now, and do you even care?

My first love, was Phillip... I don't remember his last name. Three years old, kissing in Sunday School behind the door. I was a real charmer and the boys loved me. Don't ask what happened.

In a very ironic twist of fate, I believe he is now joining the Marines, but am not sure. I haven't seen him since I was told it is not appropriate to kiss boys. You would be shocked to find out how long I believed that. And no, Porkchop The Cold Piggy Hearted does not care. Even at three, I would use little boy's hearts and toss them rudely aside once their kisses were depleted.

5) What is your theory on why the ozone layer is shrinking, and do you think Hollywood's captivation with hair gel has anything to do with it?

I believe that the ozone layer is shrinking in horror. Plain hair gel is the most disgusting thing next to mousse and of course, bear grease. Really, with all the lovely hair products we have now, MUST you use plain hair gel. Be creative. Think outside the box. Give yourself a swirly.


27 Responses to “I Succumbed”

  1. Blogger joy 

    *rolling on the floor, gasping for breath*

    Give yourself a swirly.Porchop, you've outdone yourself.

  2. Blogger Rick 

    interview joy! interview joy!

    ;)

  3. Blogger joy 

    ok, fine.

    INTERVIEW!!

  4. Blogger Porkchop 

    Joy:

    1. How would you describe the perfect date?

    2. What is the worst thing you have secretely wished on a pageant competator?

    3. Tell us, in gory detail, the most ghastly outfit you have ever worn in public.

    4. If you were a car, what color would you be? Please no plaids, polka dots or calicos.

    5. Have you ever picked out names for your future children?

  5. Blogger Jon37 

    oh, interview me!

  6. Blogger Porkchop 

    1. Has Diet Pepsi ever offered you anything for being such a loyal addicted drinker?

    2. If you could have anyone be your fan club president, minus Pamela Anderson, who would it be?

    3. If you were going to write a book on something other than history, what would it be about?

    4. Have you ever stood a girl up for a date? Given out the wrong number?

    5. What is your favorite M&M color?

  7. Blogger joy 

    1. How would you describe the perfect date?
    "April 25th. Because it's not too hot and all you need is a light jacket."2. What is the worst thing you have secretely wished on a pageant competator?
    That she would be stricken with a mysterious rash in a local so as to be only visible during the swimsuit portion of the competition.3. Tell us, in gory detail, the most ghastly outfit you have ever worn in public.
    Long-sleeved black t-shirt, long, black skirt, black Doc Martens, and orange argyle socks. Yes, I thought I was funky chic.4. If you were a car, what color would you be? Please no plaids, polka dots or calicos.
    I would be a red Mini Cooper. Maybe with black stripes on the top, not certain yet.5. Have you ever picked out names for your future children?
    Christopher Denton Jr. Yes, I was one of their groupies. Yes, you may shudder.

  8. Blogger TSG 

    "Porkchop, The Cold Piggy Hearted"? Nice one.

    If you have time, I'd be game to be interviewed.

  9. Blogger Porkchop 

    TSG:

    1. If you were going to start a trend and make up a new swear word, what would it be?

    2. If Juicy Couture asked you to be the new spokesperson for the Male Juicy Line, what would you do?

    3. In high school, what was your label? Or, what would you label yourself now?

    4. If someone robbed your house, would it be more disturbing if he defaced everything, or took it?

    5. What is the worse LINE of rejection you have gotten from a girl? (This does NOT count your fiance.)

  10. Anonymous Anonymous 

    Interview Paul!

    I'm almost as bored as you at work :)

  11. Blogger QOS 

    hilarious.

  12. Blogger Porkchop 

    Paul:

    1. If given the choice between wearing pink birkenstocks and going barefoot, which would you choose?

    2. How much alcohol does it take for you to become drunk?

    3. Have you ever had a girl slap you?

    4. What is the most random thing you have done?

    5. If you were going to kill someone, what would be the best way?

  13. Blogger TSG 

    Mine's up if anyone cares.

  14. Blogger Jon37 

    Mine's up as well. Work is SO much fun when it is quiet.

  15. Anonymous Anonymous 

    PINK BIRKS!!! Ugh!

    1) I'd go barefoot rather than wear pink of anything.

    2) not a whole lot since I don't drink very often

    3) Yes, quite frequently in my younger years....been 3 years since my last slap but I kinda deserved it.

    4) Most Random thing? I drove to Chicago on July 3rd to surprise the girl I was dating. had a stuffed bear I knew she adored, and 3 dozen long stem red roses. Called her from my car on her street and asked her what she was doing and that she should look out her door as I stood there with the flowers and the bear.

    5) I have no idea, never thought about it.

  16. Blogger TSG 

    Yo, didn't you hear? Pink Birkenstocks are like the new Ugg boots. So HOT!!!

  17. Anonymous Anonymous 

    I'll stick with my sandal color Air Jesus'.

    But I must have missed that, though I'm sure Fashion Sarah would have updated me by now.

  18. Blogger QOS 

    mkay. i'm game. gimme some questions over the weekend.

  19. Blogger Semirrahge 

    Hehehe - Joy, that "gastly" outfit sounds pretty cool to me. I must not really know what argyle socks are. I don't know if I'd call it "chic", but "gastly"? Nahh.

    This is kinda a cool idea. Can you interview me?

  20. Blogger Semirrahge 

    Oh yeah - hair gel is for fags. Ok, so maybe that's an overstatement, but the fact that I have to wash my hair every day and use nice shampoo PLUS conditioner is pushing my tolerance for fashion. Admittedly, I like my hair, but I miss the days when I could simply leap out of bed and get dressed and ready to go in less than ten minutes.
    Long hair is cool, but it has its drawbacks. :)

  21. Blogger VDOprincess 

    Ok. I cave. Interview me.

  22. Blogger Porkchop 

    Queen-Of-Slackers:

    1. The Governor has asked you to work directly for him, stipulation being that Boiler Room is your personal assistant. What do you do?

    2. If you were a shoe, what would you look like?

    3. What is the lowest you will stoop for advancement in government?

    4. What is the worst brush-off you have given a guy? (Besides Boiler Room.)

    5. Where do you see yourself in seventeen and a half years?

  23. Blogger Porkchop 

    Semirrahge:

    1. What on earth does Semirrahge mean? And why do you call yourself that?

    2. Do you remember working with me in Chicago and staring at my boobs whenever you talked to me?

    3. What is your favorite tool in your Leatherman Multi-Purpose-Save-The-World Kit?

    4. Have you ever considered highlights for those lovely locks of yours?

    5. What was the worst infraction you ever committed while working for I-Blip?

  24. Blogger Porkchop 

    VDOPrincess:

    1. If you had to wear one label for the rest of your life, who/what would it be? Campbell's Soup not included.

    2. Why were your siblings convinced you murdered the Easter Bunny? Could it have something to do with the vast amounts of candy you consumed?

    3. Have you ever tried to burp the alphabet? If so, with whom?

    4. What memories does the phrase "too-small leggings" bring to mind?

    5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?

  25. Blogger Semirrahge 

    Ok, posted to my blog.

  26. Blogger Dave 

    You've been a busy girl writing all these interviews, never woulda guessed your goin in for journalism.

  27. Blogger QOS 

    done.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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