No Incestuous Girlfriends Allowed

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Apparently, I have this nasty little habit of letting people think that I view my brother's, half, step or whole, as romantic material. Last year, my step-brother's girlfriend was quite worried and jealous that I might STEAL HIM AWAY.

Bring on the mutant children!

Last night, I had to drop my older brother off at his motel where he works with a bunch of construction workers. A bunch of leering scary construction workers. A bunch of leering scary construction workers who are from West Virginia.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a simple drop. I wasn't able to leave the drugs and flee. I helped him carry his bags and his key was not working. So I had to stand there, under the very thorough stares of his gazillion male co-workers who were splashing about in the pool and various other activities in varying degrees of undress, and guard his bags.

To emphasize the seediness of this place, the room next to which I was standing, a cop was interviewing someone whose car/niece/money had been taken/kidnapped/stolen.

He returned. After an eternity. The key worked and I waved good-bye.

As I was walking to my car, someone draped themselves over the above railing and inquired loudly enough for all three neighborhoods to hear "WHO IS THE NEW GIRLFIEND?"

Eric sighed, rolled his eyes and told them "Dude! That's my sister."

Not skipping a beat, he shouted "SO!"

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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