I personally don't think they have gone anywhere as in--runaway to a private island and hidden from neurotic women--more so they are just gone. As in. Do. Not. Exist.

Wait. There are two. My little brother who is kind, helpful and caring. Doing such things as helping me fill up my perpetually soft tires. The other one is The Perfect Boyfriend Of Twiglet. Both completely unavailable and, in essence, non-existent.

Starbucks Boy, I thought, was decent, if not good. But alas! Once more in life I was sadly deluded. I am back to being jaded and thinking all men are assholes waiting to rip you apart at a moments notice. Sadly, when I exist in this state I tend to be funnier and pursued by more silly boys. But I also tend to sit glowering at my desk writing long missives about the patheticness of men and life in general.

This month looks like it will be bright for all the people I work with. At least when I started selling cars I was going through a relatively optimistic/nice streak. Now, even that is gone and I am all out competitive bitch.

In short, I have concluded if there are any good men left, they will most certainly come to the rescue of my coworkers who will be soon stripped of any illusions that I was once a nice person. I would, at least, occasionally pretend that I could be sweet, innocent and charming. But, as unfair as it may seem to these poor mortals, all my bitterness at life in general will be channeled into neatly kicking their asses verbally, mentally and in car sold counts.

Wheeling and dealing men of the car business who think they have pulled a fast one on a nice girl, I have news for you:


Watch your back.