A Month Behind Me

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Well, I officially have one month in the car business behind me.

For all it's trials and the tantrums I throw, it has helped me more than I will readily confess. It has helped me hone my skills for dealing with crisis, coming up with improvisational answers and always, always smiling.

However, my scathing wit and ascerbic commentary have suffered much. Mainly because I have been forcing myself to try and be kind. The scary thing? They are still terrified of me and think I am dreadfully evil.

So for those of you who have been missing the hilarious evil Porkchop, I must warn you, if she comes back, it might be awhile. But then again, she might return soon and with vengance of her frustration levels remain as high as they have been.

Until then--I will write frequently on free lunches and Starbucks, sure to keep my lack of faith men firmly entact.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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