Massive Cleavage

Published 30.10.03 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

I saved part of a very touching and tragical post, only to find the system had lost it for me.
Thanks blogger for ruining my life, well not quite.

I have been instructed, quite harshly I might add, to update my blog. So here I sit, updating when I should be filing, or studying.

Speaking of studying, I am absolutely convinced that I am not cut out to be a nurse. I think I should take up a major in political science or something. Something, anything has to be better than memorizing all the muscles with their origins and insertions. Argh! Instead, I think I need to change the world by trying to get women out of the military. Don't flip, just yet because not completely out, but if they want to work alongside men, then they should have to meet the same physical requirements as men. And that would virtually eliminate all the women who are not serious about serving our country and who simply want a free ride.

Today we took senior pictures, some of which turned out very cool. Sadly enough, because of my massive bosom, they are unprintable. Dang my massive cleavage! Dang the fact that I am a large squishy marshmallow! Dang the fact that I am not one of those utterly adorable people who looking completely and devistatingly charming in all pictures! Why God why? I must say, life sometimes is terribly unfair. Since it did take two rolls of film to come up with four good pictures. Two of which are marred by my massive cleavage. Sucks to be me.

I must get to work now, I am feeling fat, queezy, unphotogenic, and decidedly at odds with life.

This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

Massive Cleavage

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