The Pursuit of Beauty

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Sometimes, I do not understand even myself as a girl. Granted, I will be the first to admit girls are some of the most annoying, confusing and contradicting creatures as a whole, but there are certain innate feminine qualities about myself that confuse me.

Take for instance, the pursuit of beauty and being beautiful. Every woman wants to be considered beautiful, not just by one, but all. It is the actual wanting of beauty, or the acceptance of many? Or just the simple desire to be cherished?

What is interesting is that many women, myself included, over look the fact that true beauty is what matters. And it is the pursuit of outer beauty that leads to being empty, hollow and lonely. You alienate yourself from others and become the anthithesis of what you started out to be.

Just like anything taken to the extreme, it comes full circle and defeats what it set out to accomplish. Where do you balance the fine line? And why, is the never ending question in my mind, are some people more beautiful than others?

Oh to settle and be mediocre!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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