How To Annoy The HELL Out Of Me


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Walk in the door, stare at my chest and proclaim "It's COLD outside, I can TELL!"

Did you THINK I would not NOTICE that my BOOBS were being FONDLED with your EYES? Do I LOOK like a FREAKING walking thermometer? Like you just didn't walk out of the FREEZING cold, you had to LOOK at me LIKE THAT to TELL that? Bucko, if you owned anything more than a bicycle, I would SUE your scrawny butt for sexual harrasment and PERMANENT emotional damage.



May I now commence to my life of wearing a BURKA.


1 Responses to “How To Annoy The HELL Out Of Me”

  1. Blogger Katya Coldheart 

    i get this too, its ok when my husband says it, but when its complete strangers it really bugs me...

    i've had this problem since i was 13...it doesn't get any better...

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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