One Happy Camper

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I know I did not say anything on my blog about this. I was hesitant to dash your illusions of virute, honor and perfection, but the time has come for you to know the truth. I am a reckless law-breaker. I had my license suspended three months ago.

Origonally I didn't mention it because I didn't want Dad to find out. Not that it would have mattered, but I was saving myself a few hours in lectures. My dear Mom didn't know that I had conveniently forgotten to mention it to him, So, it was of course, brought up in conversation. Most likely, she was verbally flogging him for his bad example. Anyway.

But I am now sharing this with you so you can rejoice that today is my last day on suspension. How terrific is that? While some of you might be smirking since you know I have been driving anyway, I can drive now without the mortal fear I will be stopped and thrown in jail. Though I am sure that would be a terribly enlightening experience.

So, here is to life in the fast lane again!

Just in case you were wondering, my transgression was going 91 in a 55. Not drunk driving as I am sure you were thinking.

10 Responses to “One Happy Camper”

  1. Blogger steelcowboy 

    Congrats on the lifting of the suspension.. and for NOT getting tossed in the can for driving while suspended!
    91 in a 55? Speedy little thing, ain'tcha?? :)
    What little sports car are you driving dear lady?

  2. Blogger joy 

    Yes, dear lady, tell us what you are driving? *smirk*

  3. Blogger joy 

    I just read your "100 things." Number 14 is so incredibly hilarious, I was on the phone when I read it and began huffing raggedly in an attempt to not laugh. The man to whom I was attempting to speak thankfully did not notice.


  4. Blogger Porkchop 

    Well. If you MUST know what I was driving, I shall tell you.

    My Dad's car.

    Which is this huge automobile that looks like a barge. But, can move quite speedily. It tops out at 125, not bad for a old man car if I do say so myself.

  5. Blogger QOS 

    I have only ever had one ticket. A parking ticket.

    Have talked or cried my way out of all other infractions. Including a serious fender bender.

  6. Blogger Porkchop 

    My first ticket I was unable to get out of it, it was a female cop.

    This ticket, it was four in the morning and he could have revoked my license for a year on the spot, so I really wasn't complaining.

    While on this suspended license I got in a accident and talked him out of calling the police.

  7. Blogger Semirrahge 

    Good grief! You people are bad!

    I've only had one ticket my entire life, and that one was in Oklahoma, and the officer was really cool about it at he put me on probation, which means I only owed the fine ($115).

    However, I've had several close calls, the worst being one night after a late shift at IBLP. I was headed out to see a movie (it was 11:45 P.M.), and I didn't see the cop until I was right on top of him. I was doing 105 in a 55. *wince* But apparently he got a call while filling out my ticket because he came back, gave me my stuff, said "Have a lucky day" and drove off in a hurry.

    I was so excited. :)

  8. Blogger steelcowboy 

    Those 'old man' cars with their big V-8 were always deceptively fast for their size. No smirk :)

  9. Blogger joy 


    There is only one way to get out of a ticket such as you described and good girls like me theroetically don't know about such things. So either you didn't really get stopped or that police man received a little more than "a call."

  10. Blogger Pauly 

    On my way to Colorado last year, I got my peppy little car (Mercedes C-280 Sport) at speeds up to 145 for quite a distance, on I-40. A little Beamer and I were cruising along quite happily, each taking turns leading for about 45 minutes. It was a rush. Both of us had radar detectors and a long straight road to fly down. Yes, it was wild, crazy and (gulp) ILLEGAL to do that, but it was early morning and almost no traffic was on that road. My radar detector is certainly not a license to speed and I don't use it for such, but it was a small comfort to have it as an early warning. I usually drive the speed limit, and consequently have not had a ticket in years. Still, no justification for my craziness.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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