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To The Driver Of The Hyundai Elantra That Was Chugging, No, Make That Straining Up The Overpass

Published 17.3.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

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The election is over.

Actually, it was over about four months ago. Counted, recounted AND EVERYTHING! (I realize that driving the Elantra is a full-time job and you might not have time for things like reading the newspaper or watching TV. So this is why I am kindly taking the time to tell you all this.)

Because we have reached this milestone, it means you can remove your very subtle, discreet and convincing bumper sticker.

John Kerry for President. Of FRANCE!!!


While I am at it, let me kindly point out that France is not having elections anytime soon either. So you might want to scrape it from your bumper (carefully, so you do not scratch your fabulous gunmetal paint job) and save it. For next election. When John Kerry runs again. But he might NOT run again, so you might NOT want to save it. Think slowly and carefully (nothing out of the ordinary, I will presume) before doing anything rash. Like crashingyouruglycartodestroyityouandyourbumpersticker.


Or you could just move, with John Kerry. TO FRANCE!!!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

cookies for troops


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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