How Many Women Does It Take To Turn A Computer On?

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Today? Five.

In our immediate office, there is approximentally fourteen women. With our branch offices it gets up into the fourties. There are a grand total of three two men on our staff payroll. (Our IT guy just left, which has left behind quite a muckery.) The other two men are the owner, and this little old man who I have to fight down the urge to stuff socks in his mouth and hide him in a closet, he is just LIKE a woman.

They know nothing of computers. Our IT guy has had to drive to branch locations to plug computers in, turn them on, or simply reboot them. The Branch Manager continually has problems rebooting her computer on her own. Unsolicted advice runs rampant in our office. And if there is the slight possibility of drama, your office is flooded, computer drama or otherwise.

Drama abounds today. Let me give you a brief synopsis of events:

We bought very expensive new software.

The software came in January.

Our IT guy did not install in until three weeks before he left.

We did not run a REAL payroll before he left.

He left us in the hands of hapless independant IT guys.

We are on the verge of making our software work, save finding and deleting two files.

I looked for the files, my boss did and now there are five women in the adjoining office, hunting for those files. And sitting at the computer is, the one and only, Branch Manager. Miss Reboot Not Herself.

Oh. The irony. And the headache. AND THE TRAGEDY OF IT ALL.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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