After standing in line for an HOUR at the cell phone shop, I was told that they could not fix my phone since there was liquid damage, as evidenced by the gravy corroded charging jack and the gravy droplets dripping along my liquid crystal display. Now, mind you, before I took it in there for the inevitable wait of an hour with people who are trying to force you into a early death, I had carefully checked the liquid damage indicator sticker located on the back of my phone. It was untouched. A sweet little virgin sticker. How lovely! This means they should replace it post haste!

So. There I waited in line, with a gentleman twice my age who was trying to impress me by informing me he spends his summers at the beach while maintaining his businesses via is blackberry and a nagging woman who wore camouflaged shorts and talked for an HOUR about how her husband loathes his cell phone. So, together the gentleman and the lady quarreled about turning cell phones off as opposed to simply not answering. And then they had to discuss the "old days" before there were cell phones. And before TV, how they sat around and listened to the radio! Oh! The good old days!

An. Hour.

An hour of living torture to simply be told that I have to call my insurance company.

AGAIN! CALL THEM AGAIN! THIS PHONE IS TWO MONTHS OLD, EXACTLY, TODAY!I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS PHONE! AND I AM STARTING TO HATE MY USE OF EXCLAMATION POINTS AS WELL!

On my way out, a bevy of mexicans swarmed me and informed me I was a "fiiiiiiiiine and pretty damn good looking broad".

Now. Please bear in mind what I had just been through. The trauma of the hour was far more than my little mind could bear, I snapped. I turned to the mexicans and informed them:

"I appreciate the compliment, however disgustingly intentioned it was. But. Unless you are referring to the width of my girth, I would appreciate it if you would refrain from referring to me as a "broad"." And with that, I turned on my little heel and trotted out the door.



I think I will retreat into my office with a large bottle of Jack. There is already an open can of Coke on my desk.