Sweet Irony

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This morning while I was sitting at my desk busily lining up pens looking incredibly cool, calm and collected a customer came in and asked for the salesperson who tried to steal half of one of my very first deals. Rather than swooping in and stealing them, I followed the protocol that was outlined in a rather pointed memo that was read loudly at the last staff meeting. I

a. went to the manager and told him that these customers were here for someone else

b. informed the manager that the desired salesperson was not in

c. followed the manager's instructions and called the salesperson on his cell phone

d. left the salesperson a nice message

e. proceeded to sell the customer the desired car

f. filled out all the paperwork

g. found the aforementioned salesperson blowing smoke out their ears when they got in

h. delightedly stood back and watched as management defended everything I did.


I did have to deliver the car about thirty miles away. Guess who got to follow me and bring me back?! The disgruntled salesperson. Of course! And of COURSE he didnt' blame me, just management. As I got to hear for the next FOURTY MINUTES. I managed to shave off a little of the whining by calling someone on my cell phone and talking for as LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. As soon as I got off my phone, I got to hear IN DETAIL all his bills, his debts and how he has NO IDEA HOW HE IS GOING TO PAY FOR GAS THIS WEEK.

When I talked to management, they assured me I should NOT feel bad, because he is lazy and it is his own fault he only sold half a car this month. And guess who got the other half of that car?!


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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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