Even when I was young and the rest of my siblings would eagerly talk for hours of The Chronicles of Narnia series, I would denounce it with the same enthusiasm I spoke of the falseness of Santa.

I hate fantasy. It irritates me. It isn't true! IT CANNOT HAPPEN. CANNOT! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

But, tonight, trying to turn over a new leaf, I went to watch the remade version of The Chronicles. While everyone else was musing over the intricacy of detail, the darlingness of the children and the beautiful sweeping camera work I couldn't focus.

I was wondering did the little fawn/man creature ever hear of back waxing? I was troubled that they were highly inaccurate regarding the dreadlocks of the wicked witch. Or whatever the hell her name was. Do they not realize you cannot comb dreadlocks out? You have to CUT them out? Thus, rendering her combed out hair for the battle scene, very unreal. What about the children sleeping on the dead animal? HOW DISGUSTING! If anyone has ever smelt a dead animal, even if it was only dead overnight, you know exactly of what I am referring. Furthermore, if it was warm enough for them to sleep outside, it was warm enough for the animal to start premature decomposure.

As you can see--fantasy was never my strong point.

Though, I have yet to figure out what my strong point is. Unless you count bitchiness.