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Our new manager is a bit--overwhelming. He's all arms and mouth. He waves them wildly while talking loud enough to match his actions. Seriously. It's a bit unnerving. You can normally hear him in every office on the first floor, even though we have music piped in.

In true car business fashion, he's a bit of a hustler. When you add that and the arm waving, well, let's just say it's rather unnerving. Last night, e whirlwinded a couple into buying a vehicle. He sweeps them into my office and they run to the chairs hunkering down into the seats and clutching at the arms for safety. He leaves.

They sit there for a moment. Stunned. As if they had just witnessed the birth of a two-headed cat by their Grandma. You could almost say they look disheveled.

I give them a bit to come back to their senses. They timidly ask "Is he always like that?" I nod.

They lean across the desk and whisper conspiratorially

"I think he escaped from the circus. Or maybe he just missed his life calling as a clown."

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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