I have decided, instead of telling my sisters EVERYTHING, I should either blog it or journal. Problem with blogging is they read it anyway, problem with journaling is, I don't or won't. So we have a problem.

It isn't that I don't like telling them stuff, I do! A little too much! And they know every gory, bloody detail of my life. And today in the shower it dawned on me, if I want to have a life seperate from theirs, or even slightly different, I shouldn't tell them everything. Some of us are a little slow on the uptake.

Last night, Jared called me, and wanted to know just what had to happen in order for us to have a relationship. And for the first time in a long time, we really talked and communicated. That is the sad/funny thing about us, we communicate well only when we are both really mad, because we come out and say thing that we wouldn't otherwise. Anyway, I condensed it to three things:

1. He would need to build a relationship with my Dad. Not just a friendly relationship, but a real one.
2. He would need to be a leader, spiritually and emotionally.
3. He would need to show more love to his Mom.

He wanted to know why he couldn't work on these things with us as a couple, and I told him that he didn't have to be perfect, but at least it would have to be visible to me that he was working hard on these things. I figure if these three things are worked on, all my previous problems with him would be resolved, or at least significantly reduced.

I do feel rather bad for him though, he is in such pain, and I always feel terrible for people who are in pain because I can do absolutely nothing for them! Not only does he have that horrible lesion and infection on his back, which makes it painful to walk, run, lie down, stand up, and basically exist. But he has either a reaccurring hernea or a swollen lymph node which makes the rest of his life miserable. After tellling me precisely what is wrong, he always cheerfully ends with "like you tell me, I'll live!" And, he will. But painfully. He was explaining to me that they prepare most troops for 18 months before they go to Iraq, but Fast Company will be training for 6 months and then going. So training is supposed to be paticularly intense. In his words "they are going to kill us for the next 6 months." And he is less than looking forward to it with his myraid of medical issues.

I have decided to start going to Bayshore, because I'm not growing spiritually, and honestly I would rather model my life after the people of Bayshore's than the people of SBT.

Laura is home, and she is... Laura. But she seems rather odd this time, I hope everything is all right. I think it is something to do with Theresa, but she won't admit it. I wonder what she plans on doing for the next two months...

Also, it is very strange, I can sleep for the longest amounts of time. It is rather disconcerting to me, because literally, I could sleep all day if I had the time. It seems I can never get enough. If this were Fred, people would say it is because he is growing. But some say it's because I don't exercise. But I HATE exercising. Instead I am on the whole fruits and veggies and juice diet. Very rabbit like.

Anyway, I must get some stuff done for English, I have a presentation to make tonight and haven't even started.