Something mildly amusing, to me anyway.

There is this fellow, well you could call him a fellow but he falls more under the lines of a shmuck. Anyway Joy was done with him, and made it quite clear, but he wasn't getting a clue. It wasn't in a sweet I-am-still-in-love-with-her way, it was more of a I-can't-believed-I-got-dumped, or why-did-I-let-the-hot-girl-slip-through-my-fingers. Either way, not exactly moving reasons to still be pestering her. He insisted on coming to the pageant, even though Joy discouraged it. Well, I emailed him and told him that he might want to send her flowers, and though it wouldn't win her, it would help if he EVER wanted a chance.

Grr.

Well, he emails me this gibberish about how he thinks I don't like him, etc, etc and how he doesn't want to send her flowers for fear of "rejection" (how do you get rejected through flowers?). Anyway, I met him at the pageant, what a loser.

Example: he looks at a picture of his fat self and says "Wow! I look hot!" (In a hot-air blimp kind of way.) He called Joy once, and she opted to speding time with our family since she hadn't seen us in forever and he takes it as this ignoring/hating bull crap. And then he emails me and tells me my advice didn't work, and how he will never listen to me again. He emailed me a couple more times, and then he emailed me today saying that I should tell my sister to be nice to guys who sent her flowers; and this is what I had to say:

Schmuck-
As a reward for your efforts? Don't feel chivilarious for attending a pageant with girls strutting around in bathing suits. Did she ASK you to come? You came because you wanted to, if you wanted to be rewarded, I'm sorry, I'll guess you'll have to wait until you get to heaven.
When I first emailed you, you said that you thought I didn't like you at the time there were no feelings like that, well, your making me dislike you. You could take rejection like a man, and keep trying to win her or get a clue, or you could whine, wimper and snivel; and personally I find it disgusting.

If your looking for sympathy, you'll find none here because I think Joy went beyond the call of duty to be nice to you.

I cannot speak for Joy, but if it were me I would be singularly unmoved by your tart-like emails. Would YOU find that compelling?

One last thought, I don't know how you keep working me into this equasion of getting Joy back, but I was doing a one time good deed to try and help you and you managed to mangle the efforts. I am not involved, I am not your lobbier to Joy, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what is tragic about that you need to complain.

And, if you had gotten a clue sooner, you could have gotten some of the very single chicks at the pageant. But, instead, you just stared...

My heart bleeds for you, truely it does.

Maybe that was harsh, maybe. But he deserved it. The schmuck is 33, and did I mention he asked me out the weekend of the pageant? And he WONDERS why my sister doesn't want to go out with him. Don't even get me started about guys who think dating Joy and I is interchangable because our bustline, haircolor and height are similar. **steam puffs out ears**

Anyway, just wanted to say I think Matt is amazing, incredible, and I love the way that he makes Joy glow and smile. =) Maybe he can bomb Doug's workplace or something and do the general free world a favor.