My friend: Cellulite

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I have recently purposed to myself that I would no longer moan on and on about being fat on my blog. That topic is easily exhausted in the minds of readers, I am sure. And it is actually quite annoying to read about later.

But, like any true female, I cannot keep my mouth shut, nor fingers still regarding this tasty little subject. Actually, the very thought of the logistics of cellulite is quite disgusting. Think long and hard abou that next time you bite into your cheesecake. If you have ever seen actual fat or cellulite, you know exactly of what I am speaking.

Anyway, my whole point of this post is to say, I am now the fattest member of our family. MY MOTHER wears smaller clothes than I. No longer is it "Yo' Mama" jokes, it's "Yo' Sistah" jokes.

Someone save me from the hellish ordeal of explaining no, I am not pregnant.

2 Responses to “My friend: Cellulite”

  1. Anonymous Anonymous 


  2. Blogger Porkchop 

    Ah! The quickness of wit and piercing of the truth, truely leave my heart wounded and bleeding. =)

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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