Sating Inner Demons

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A while ago, I talked about the inner burning desire to always do something bigger. Well, the inner demons are screaming again.

I am kidding people.

My desire to learn and achieve has been temporarily mollified by the fact that I moved to payroll, something new, something bigger, something challenging, for the time being. But what about in a month and a half when I have it all down pat and am no longer learning, what then? I am waffling between describing myself as a precocious child, terribly impatient or just down right immature. I would like to think of my quick learning curve and constant desire to learn something new as a sign of intelligence, but I am dreadfully afraid it is a sign of childishness.

Yesterday, I mentioned to Joy this whole idea, to which she replied "it is a part of growing up." Dammit. I hate it when people say that. So annoying. But she meant it nicely, so I will forgive her. Quick digression there. Do I have to settle for that? Do I have to settle for something that doesn't challenge me? What can I do that will stretch me and helo me become a better person, professionally and personally?

Help me people. I am drowning.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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