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One HUNDRED Percent

Published 11.1.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

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Is there anyone else in the free, civilized world who realizes saying you are ONE HUNDRED percent sure of something, is just ASKING, no, make that begging and pleading, no, make that, waving-a-red-cape-under-the-nose-of-Murphy's-Law.

Please. Say your almost sure. Say your ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent sure. Do not act as if the world is your oyster. DO NOT SAY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.

Especially when you are prone to changing your mind. Making mistakes. And generally being wrong. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS PERTAINING TO SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH SOMEONE. (When your saying one hundred percent sure of knowing God's will, I think you need to have a DIRECT line to God to be able to legally say that.)

I AM SUING. WHERE IS MY LAWYER?

I believe, that is asking, begging, pleading and cape-waving to have your brakes tweaked, food poisoned and your parachute stolen.


DO NOT TEMPT THE CREATIVITY OF SARAH.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

cookies for troops


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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