I Now Feel A Certain Kinship With Hitler

Published 21.3.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

His feelings for wanting to exterminate and forever wipe off the face of the earth certain demographics was understood with startling clarity this weekend. Except, I am not racist. I happen to currently carry a deep prejudice against twelve year olds.

Cheeky little buggers.

At first. I tried. Really. To be nice, to win them and do all those fun older sister things. I did not yell at them when they set off firecrackers at twelve at night. Even though the neighbors did. When I was woken Saturday morning by the heathens POUNDING THE LIFE OUT OF MY PIANO, I calmly turned over and went back to sleep. I did not yell at them for jumping on the furniture, nor did I tell them to go to bed at a certain time. I made them cookies and EVEN TOOK THEM TO GET THEIR ATV FIXED.

But, there is something about the belligerent phrase "WOMAN! Fix me some food!" coming out of the mouth of these ungrateful creatures that just didn't sit well with me. At first, I ignored it. Then, I gently corrected. THEN. I TOLD THEM I WOULD PELT THEM WITH COLD WAFFLES AND THAT WAS THE EXTENT OF MY CULINARY ENDEAVORS ON THEIR BEHALF.

I did resort to threatening physical violence. But it was well-deserved. And well received. They studiously avoided me FOR THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON.

Just goes to show: Hitler was right. A few well-placed threats go a long way.

41 Responses to “I Now Feel A Certain Kinship With Hitler”

DBFrank on March 21, 2005 9:22 AM

My father used to tell we kids
"If you won't respect me, you will at LEAST fear me."
We did.
Both.
The Fred on March 22, 2005 2:56 PM

For what it's worth, I kicked the offending party several times in the stomach.

Remember, threats are useful, but enforcing them is the fun bit!
The Fred on March 22, 2005 2:56 PM

For what it's worth, I kicked the offending party several times in the stomach.

Remember, threats are useful, but enforcing them is the fun bit!
Anonymous on January 22, 2007 11:56 PM

trxbmh ifmtqyhue khrislc ndijw srlua bovj mfdrhq
Anonymous on January 22, 2007 11:56 PM

ktufhqvzg axohzck sljwzft tpgfqvehy gfsrtoyqw ojaklu xbey http://www.yvan.ievsquy.com
Anonymous on January 22, 2007 11:57 PM

ktufhqvzg axohzck sljwzft tpgfqvehy gfsrtoyqw ojaklu xbey http://www.yvan.ievsquy.com
Anonymous on January 22, 2007 11:57 PM

emwskr wtvr ktdrbzom zlbp quxoe kzxbiywqd nbwat jzodblv jydi
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 8:01 AM

Nice site. Thanks!
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 9:18 AM

Very good site. Thank you:-)
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 11:29 AM

Very good site. Thank you:-)
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 3:31 PM

Nice site. Thanks!
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 4:33 PM

Very good site. Thanks:-)
jimmy neutron boy genius
jimmy neutron naked
jimmy neutron wallpaper
jimmy neutron boy genius for gamecube
jimmy neutron pictures
jimmy neutron party plates
jimmy neutron characters
el tigre
1974 el tigre
1981 el tigre
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 4:33 PM

Very good site. Thanks:-)
jimmy neutron boy genius
jimmy neutron naked
jimmy neutron wallpaper
jimmy neutron boy genius for gamecube
jimmy neutron pictures
jimmy neutron party plates
jimmy neutron characters
el tigre
1974 el tigre
1981 el tigre
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 5:42 PM

Nice site. Thank you.
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 6:51 PM

Good site. Thanks.
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 7:54 PM

Cool site. Thanks.
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 23, 2007 11:35 PM

Good site. Thank you!!!
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 12:47 AM

Nice site. Thanks!!!
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 1:53 AM

Nice site. Thanks!
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 1:55 AM

Nice site. Thanks!
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 3:01 AM

Cool site. Thanks!
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 4:16 AM

Very good site. Thanks:-)
jimmy neutron boy genius
jimmy neutron naked
jimmy neutron wallpaper
jimmy neutron boy genius for gamecube
jimmy neutron pictures
jimmy neutron party plates
jimmy neutron characters
el tigre
1974 el tigre
1981 el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 6:19 AM

Cool site. Thank you!
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 7:22 AM

Very good site. Thanks!
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 7:23 AM

Very good site. Thanks!
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 8:37 AM

Nice site. Thank you!
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 8:37 AM

Nice site. Thank you!
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 9:57 AM

Nice site. Thanks:-)
jimmy neutron boy genius
jimmy neutron naked
jimmy neutron wallpaper
jimmy neutron boy genius for gamecube
jimmy neutron pictures
jimmy neutron party plates
jimmy neutron characters
el tigre
1974 el tigre
1981 el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 11:38 AM

Very good site. Thank you!!!
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 12:43 PM

Cool site. Thank you:-)
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 5:05 PM

Nice site. Thank you.
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 5:05 PM

Nice site. Thank you.
el tigre de santa julia
el tigre argentina
1974 arctic cat el tigre
cat el tigre
el tigre rifle
piramide el tigre guatemala
1980 artic cat el tigre
1990 arctic cat el tigre
arctic cat el tigre ext
1985 arctic cat el tigre
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 6:25 PM

Good site. Thanks.
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 7:40 PM

Good site. Thank you.
sponge bob
sponge bob square pants
sponge bob squarepants
sponge bob pictures
sponge bob coloring pages
sponge bob theme
sponge bob theme song
sponge bob games
sponge bob jordans
sponge bob characters
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 8:52 PM

Good site. Thanks!
sponge bob best day ever
sponge bob dub zero jordans
sponge bob hentai
sponge bob remix
jimmy neutron hentai
jimmy neutron xxx
jimmy neutron nude
jimmy neutron
jimmy neutron and cindy vortex
sheen from jimmy neutron
Anonymous on January 24, 2007 10:33 PM

Good site. Thanks.
jimmy neutron boy genius
jimmy neutron naked
jimmy neutron wallpaper
jimmy neutron boy genius for gamecube
jimmy neutron pictures
jimmy neutron party plates
jimmy neutron characters
el tigre
1974 el tigre
1981 el tigre
Anonymous on January 25, 2007 12:42 AM

Good site. Thanks.
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 25, 2007 12:42 AM

Good site. Thanks.
1980 artic cat el tigre pictures
avatar
73 el tigre
avatar the last airbender
avatar hentai
myspace avatars
free avatars
avatars
avatar the last air bender
animated avatars
Anonymous on January 25, 2007 1:51 AM

Nice site. Thank you:-)

danny phantom xxx
danny phantom
danny phantom hentai
danny phantom theme
danny phantom screencaps
danny phantom drawings
danny phantom nude
danny phantom coloring pages
danny phantom characters
Anonymous on January 25, 2007 6:56 AM

Very good site. Thanks.
all grown up fan art
catscratch cartoon pics
cartoon catscratch
catscratch fever
hovis from catscratch
catscratch theme
catscratch jokes
waffle catscratch
catscratch pants
george clinton and catscratch
Anonymous on January 25, 2007 9:06 AM

Cool site. Thanks!!!
danny phantom hentia
danny phantom ember
danny phantom sam
danny phantom naked
kappa mikey episode 1
kappa mikey
kappa mikey hentai
kappa mikey theme song
kappa mikey theme
kappa mikey lily

This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

I Now Feel A Certain Kinship With Hitler

E-mail this post

41 Responses to “I Now Feel A Certain Kinship With Hitler”

Leave a Reply

cookies for troops

the past

archives