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My Minivan Brings All The Boys To The Yard

Published 1.3.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

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Yup. That and my diaper bags.

Oh, wait! I don't have children, I am not supposed to be carrying those around yet. Nor should I be driving a minivan for that matter.

In any event, for the past while I have HAVE been driving a minivan for various assundry reasons. It did, occasionally come in handy. You really have no idea of the capacity of these things until you start smuggling illegal immigrants around, hauling dead bodies to the dump and packing in the crack whores.

Now that I have listed it for sale, finially, I walk outside this morning to see a hubcab missing.

Of course.

Now, why could it not have disappeared BEFORE I placed the ad? Instead, the very morning after, IT JUST VANISHES.



There is nothing sexier than a three-hubcapped minivan. It's better than YOURS.

2 Responses to “My Minivan Brings All The Boys To The Yard”

  1. Blogger QOS  on March 01, 2005 1:13 PM  

    i have a three-hubcapped explorer. but the cap wasn't stolen. i BLEW IT AWAY. 360. woo baby!

  2. Blogger Jon  on March 01, 2005 4:40 PM  

    I stole it. I had to have it as the most dedicated Pork Chop stalker in the world. It now hangs in a shrine on my wall.

    I drive a minivan as well, and have no kids. I love it as I can camp in it, haul massive pile sof junk around, bring lots more junk home from yard sales, and stuff liek that.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

cookies for troops


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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