Let's Just Bleach The Gene Pool

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Does anyone else have those family members who, upon spending excess of .5 hours with them, prompts the urge to put a gun to your head and end it all.

After spending three hours with this relative I was ready to drive off a cliff, or at least into a telephone pole.

Upon my arrival at the birthday part to eat SPIDERMAN cake and have my tounge turn blue, my eyes were glazed over and I had lost the ability to make rational decisions regarding the continuation of my life. My father, who is normally amused at my rantings and ravings, was even starting to get a little concerned.

Thankfully, my sisters were on hand to pry the pills and vodka out of my hands, wipe the blood off my wrists and put salve on the rope burn around my neck.

1 Responses to “Let's Just Bleach The Gene Pool”

  1. Blogger Lithium 

    I can relate. The only problem being that Earth is not like Futurama and there are no Suicide Booths to step into.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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