The only problem with that plan is that Joannie, The Coworker, has found my blog. (Hi! Joannie!) And if I DID burn the building down, I would want to report it for the amusement of my blog readers. And then she would read about it. And then, my whole plan of blaming it on the faulty wiring in my phone, which also allows me to randomly blank out of phone conversations, would be foiled.

All day, I have been a half a step away from chewing out a paticular department which enjoys changing things at their own whim, without telling me. This has prompted a longing to strangle them all until their cute little eyes pop from their heads. Then, slamming my door shut and hurling object against the wall. Including, but not limited to: red pens, manilla file folders, a stapler, my instant hand sanitizer and loud obscenities.

I also managed to gouge my knee on my charming little keyboard tray and draw blood, but not run my hose. Is that a freak of nature or what?

Today's events have prompted my inner desire to write a song title:


The Story of Porkchop: Boo Friggity Hoo.