Because it allows me to drive, put on mascara, adjust my mirrors, fix my stereo, eat my breakfast and speed. All the while knowing that I am protected from my little friends from the police department.

So. I am doing all of the above (as usual) while driving to work and since I was running late I sped things up a bit more than usual. I was navigating traffic rather quickly when I glanced to my right and spotted a friendly local police officer.

In one swift motion I ripped the eyelash curler from my eye, pulled my hand in the window, threw down my pringles, dropped my speed fifteen miles an hour and fastened my seatbelt.

When I guiltily glanced back over, I saw him laughing at me. It was a cop I knew, who has, on more than one occasion, let me off.

After I got over the inital irritation and trauma I decided it might be best for me to limit myself to only three activities a time (driving not included) so I can keep a more careful eye out.


Or I could just buy a better radar detector.