Why I Love My Radar Detector:

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Because it allows me to drive, put on mascara, adjust my mirrors, fix my stereo, eat my breakfast and speed. All the while knowing that I am protected from my little friends from the police department.

So. I am doing all of the above (as usual) while driving to work and since I was running late I sped things up a bit more than usual. I was navigating traffic rather quickly when I glanced to my right and spotted a friendly local police officer.

In one swift motion I ripped the eyelash curler from my eye, pulled my hand in the window, threw down my pringles, dropped my speed fifteen miles an hour and fastened my seatbelt.

When I guiltily glanced back over, I saw him laughing at me. It was a cop I knew, who has, on more than one occasion, let me off.

After I got over the inital irritation and trauma I decided it might be best for me to limit myself to only three activities a time (driving not included) so I can keep a more careful eye out.

Or I could just buy a better radar detector.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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