A Quick Thank You Note:

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I would just like to say a quick thanks to the local thugs who were trying to be so helpful yesterday as I was jump-starting my car.

Thank you for your repeated offers to help me, even though I said I was fine. Thank you for informing me I was "fine", "pretty damn hot" and a "sexy mama". Thank you for sharing your love of "smart mouthed women" and your assurance that "you can handle me". Thank you for not grabbing my ass, even though you got pretty close. It would have been quite disastrous for both you and all of your friends. I can assure you, I would have faired pretty well.

Please understand that as all four of you thugs lined up on the sidewalk watching me, I was a bit irritated. After all, a girl can use jumper cables all by herself. Right? Last time I checked, it was quite legal. And, advice from strangers who look like they are about to make her their next rape victim, is really not very much appreciated. Also, please be sure to take my offer to fry you with the aforementioned jumper cables, quite personally. I realized I can be harsh and demanding, but I mean well. For yours and my best interest.

Thanks for everything--


3 Responses to “A Quick Thank You Note:”

  1. Blogger Airelee 

    Here's another perspective: I *let* guys like that do all the work. If I'm in a phone closet and some guy offers to take my drill out of my hands and mount the equipment himself, I gladly relinquish my tools! It dawned on me one day that I don't give a flying fuck whether or not these guys think I can handle the job, and I stay clean and pristine while they get all dirty.

    On the downside, I no longer have the upper body strength necessary to lift a heavy server because I've let guys do my lifting for the last three years. Oh well, I guess there's a price with everything!

  2. Blogger Porkchop 

    I am all about letting guys do it for you. Especially hot guys.

    But I am not about letting guys help you who:

    a. look less compitent than myself, which is pretty bad

    b. would want some sort of reward in the end.

    c. are terrifyingly close to the description of the attackers of a woman who was raped a few blocks away from where I work. in broad daylight.

  3. Blogger Lithium 

    Did you tell them that you had a Ty Cobb signed baseball bat that they could take a closer look at if they wanted? Hell, you could have also said to them that if they liked the closer look, you could try again and see if the autograph would dent into their heads. A momento of their generocity.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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