Exhibit A: I rolled something that looked very much like a joint of marijuana (which was actually simply rolled copier paper) and lit it, in my office.

Exhibit B: Once I was caught for "smoking" in the building I sprayed enough Coconut Lime Verbena air freshener to have the people at the opposite end of the building come down here and ask me if I was preparing for the beach.

Exhibit C: I took my very convincing looking joint outside to smoke with my boss and stood at the back of the building where cops frequently patrol.

Exhibit D: When a fellow employee asked me what I was doing, I told them my job had given me, get this: a stress related disease and I had, a few weeks ago, been prescribed marijuana.

Exhibit E: The owner asked me what exactly I was doing, I informed him I was studying our latest report and absorbing it via smoke osmosis.

Exhibit F: After reluctnantly stubbing my joint out, I crammed a entire milky way in my mouth. When asked what exactly I was doing, I said (through a entire milky way bar) "I have the munchies!"

Exhibit G: When told I would not be fired because it was obvious I was mentally unstable and they felt sorry for me, I threw myself across my desk and begged them to reconsider.