A Woman Complete


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Forget my whinings of no men. Forget my lament of badly colored hair. Forget the fact I think my eyelashes are shorter than they ever have been. Forget the fact I had to sit in a traffic jam for twenty minutes this morning with no music. Forget the fact I do not have a swimsuit body for this weekend. Forget my hate for mankind in general.

For a moment, anyway.

Starbucks is offically open. Wait, did you hear that, STARBUCKS IS OPEN. Not only is Starbucks open, but they are directly on my way to work. And, because I was one of their first 100 customers, I GOT FREE COFFEE COFFEE. (Since it is pre-ground, I will be feeding it to all the mere mortals at work who do not appreciate Starbucks, or any good coffee for that matter.*)Before all of you "too cool for Starbucks" people start berating Starbucks as a poser coffee shop, or my need for overpriced coffee, let me point out that in case you have noticed, there are few things give me joy. So let me have my little jollies.

And, just for the record, if we did have a decent independant coffee shop, I would most definately support it. But we don't, so I can't. Moving on.

And I know, because this was there first morning open, they were unusually nice and cheerful. Almost annoying so, actually. I only had fifteen people chirp a freakishly bright "Good Morning, Welcome to Starbucks!" once I walked in. But you know what, in paying for my cup of overpriced coffee, I am also paying for the illusion of cheerfulness. So, I can deal with that. In fact, I would be dissappointed if they DIDN'T get on my nerves.

I assured them, they would be seeing quite allot of me. Probably more than they actually wanted to see. (In fact, I am so hardcore, I have been known to give Starbucks paraphneilia for birthday presents.)

Don't think this is easy for me! I have been labeled a "prep", "snob" and "snotty" for my unabashed love of quality caffeine. But then again, considering the source, I think I will take it as a compliment.


Now, all they need to make my life complete, are some cute baristas.



*It is all part of my plan to start using a very strong blend in our office coffee pots, get them hooked, and then switch it to decaf. The oldest trick in the book, I know, but come on, we are talking about seventeen women who need all the help we they can get.


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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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