I call my insurance company. After giving all the necessary information and waiting on hold for twenty-thousand years, she tells me they are out of my phone.

Fine. Whatever. Wasn't paticularly attached to this model. She asks me if there are any features I absolutely must have. Thinking that most cell phones have the basic things I need, I informed her the only thing I would desire would be something of similar size (my phone was tiny) with a longer battery life.

I hold.

She comes back saying the phone is identical to mine, except it has no outside screen. I didn't even know they still made phones with no outside screen! That is a VERY important feature. I like to screen calls and know who I am talking to. She goes back to look again.

I hold.

She finially picks back up and gives me another model. Saying it is half an inch longer than my old phone with a longer battery life. I look it up, skim it quickly and assume she knows what she is talking about. While thinking it looks a little bit chintzy and cheap, I say something to the effect of "since it appears I have no other options, I guess it will do". She confirms that my options were running out. I finially finish the call.

As soon as she hangs up, I realize the piece of cheap plastic they will be sending me has a talking battery life of one hour less! AN HOUR LESS!
I am very angry.

I think the only other way to get my old phone model back would be to purposely smash this new one, once I get it, and take it back to the Verizon store where they should replace it under the "damaged" clause.

Now that I think of it, I should have just run over my old phone and taken it back. I don't think they would have noticed the liquid damage. I weep for you, old phone. I will miss your better battery life and sleek lines. It just goes to show, you don't realize what you have until you lose it.


Like, my sanity, for instance.