Corperate Approved Ass Groping

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I don't have a fear of heights, I simply have a problem with my personal space being invaded.

Today and for the next two days, we are having one of those little teamwork building seminars. You know, when you sit around and talk about how to improve the company. You congratulate each other on your various strong points. You reinvent the wheel. And you also have those fun little exercises where you are supposed to learn to trust and love your co-workers.

Today, ours was jumping off a ladder into the outstretched arms of our co-workers. Mind you, most people were scared at the jumping off the ladder bit. Personally, I have no problem with heights, it was the touching and groping of my ass that I had a problem with. I am SO not a touchy-feely person. Handshakes are the extent of it. Occasionally, a super happy customer decides to hug me as a sign of their extreme gratefulness. Well. That's what I think it is. (Another co-worker posed the possibility they are simply trying to cop a feel.) In any event, I am not terribly comfortable with touching of any kind.

However. This exercise was for me to fall ass-first into the outstretched hands of my co-workers. Not to mention, I first had to stand on a ladder with my ass facing them so they could stare at it until I gathered the courage to fling myself into their outstretched palms.

For those of you who might like to argue that it was better than falling on the concrete. Don't. Because I'm not to sure about that.

I am so excited to see what tomorrow's exercises hold. Snuggling, anyone?

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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