Breast Awareness Month

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This month for every product we sell a certain amount will be donated to some sort of breast cancer research fund. We have various signs posted telling of our generosity to all of our customers. This is also a good enough reason, or so they think, for them to walk up to you, stare at your chest and shout "OCTOBER IS BREAST AWARENESS MONTH!" As if the male population needed another reason to be cognizant of mammary glands.

But, today management decided to step up their charitable game. We were to inflate pink twelve-inch balloons which proclaimed all sorts of warm fuzzy thoughts about women supporting women. Now, if these had been seventeen or even twenty-four inch balloons, it wouldn't have been so bad. However, the entire time we were inflating and tying them about, all I could think of was swollen ovaries, turgid breasts and puffed-up uteri. (Uteri? Uterueses? Multiple child-bearing facilities?)

I did think it a bit amusing that a male dominated business was trying to attract customers and empathy by reminding the world that they too cared about the racks of women everywhere. After all, that's what community is all about. Right?

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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