My First Mugging Experience

Published 27.2.06 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

I wasn't really mugged. But I THOUGHT I was going to get mugged. So that's almost as good, right?

I was walking out of the grocery store, struggling with my bags and listening to my iPod. A young thugish looking chap walked up to me and started talking. Because of my earbud obstructions, I didn't understand what he was saying. All I saw was him trying to stop me and the waving of his arms.

After I ran through a hundred different attack scenarios, I managed to pull the earbuds out and hear him offer me a rap cd from a local artist. It was, you know, gangsta thug. After I politely refused the music, he offered a morsel of praise "You've got that whole baby face thing going on. I totally dig it." What does this teach us children? Even if you hate your baby face, it might keep you from getting mugged.

Hooray chubby cheeks!

1 Responses to “My First Mugging Experience”

Anonymous on March 09, 2006 1:36 AM

well, you are adorable, afterall.

This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

My First Mugging Experience

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1 Responses to “My First Mugging Experience”

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