Sign #457 I Am Disturbed

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My friend the police dispatcher: "Yeah. The most interesting call of the day was the old lady who killed herself by falling asleep with a bag over her head."

*Immediately conjure a mental image of a blue haired old lady falling asleep on her couch with a paper sack on her head with careful little eyeholes cut out KKK style. Childhood thoughts of putting plastic bags over my siblings heads crop up. I quickly think about the complexities of falling asleep with a bag on your head.*

Porkchop: "Heh. That's kinda funny."

MFTPD: "Your sick and twisted. That isn't funny, it's sad!"

Porkchop: "Clearly anyone who does that meant to bring a little laughter to my day. Besides, you shouldn't have told me, you knew I would laugh."

MFTPD: "I'm having you arrested."

Porkchop: "Save my family the trouble. Please do."

5 Responses to “Sign #457 I Am Disturbed”

  1. Anonymous Bullfrog 

    You're not necessarily disturbed if there is a word to describe you is there? That word is:


  2. Anonymous Porkchop 

    I resent that! I am not satisfied in a malicous delight of others discomfort. I just find it amusing.

  3. Anonymous Bullfrog 

    Ok, I take it back. I looked it up and some definitions don't include "malicious" in the definition, while others do.

    "Pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others." This is more what I had in mind. It probably describes me and/or Republicans more than it does you.


  4. Anonymous Mikey 

    So, like, when I laugh at Little Timmy when he slams at the skatepark, does that make me "Schadenfreude"?

    Oh, and Porkchop, I'm very thankful you linked me again.

  5. Anonymous Mikey 

    So, if I laugh at Little Timmy when he slams at the skatepark, does that make me "Schadenfreude"?

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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