Thanks For That

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Random Lady who had a question from our service department sits down at my desk. As I am seating myself she comments

"Oh! You have those pants on that were featured on Oprah this morning!"

(I have never seen an episode of Oprah in my life, but still, I'm a little insulted. My pants on the show that is targeted towards bored middle aged housewives? Not good.)


"Yes! She did this feature on pants that style and how they make you look much thinner and hide all that junk in your trunk."

"Well, er, thank you?"

She leaned forward conspiratorially

"I'm going to be getting myself a pair. Because you look thin so they must work."

3 Responses to “Thanks For That”

  1. Anonymous QOS 

    Seriously!! They're AMAZING!! You'd never guess that I actually weigh 300lbs!!

  2. Anonymous vdoprincess 

    "It's not really the pants; it's the two pairs of control top pantyhose I'm wearing underneath."

  3. Anonymous Vulgar Wizard 

    Oh, damn.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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