Ugly

Published 24.3.04 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

I am excited and annoyed.

Excited because I really don't mind this diet... I could actually see myself doing this for awhile. As long as I faithfully drink my half-gallon of apple juice and eat my pound of salad, I let myself eat anything I want, within reason. I am trying to make healthier choices, daily choices. Sounds like a slogan for some sort of wretched diet.

I am annoyed because I realize just how timelessly annoyingly ugly I truely am. I know that sounds like a terrible selp-depreciating thing to say, and it very well might be. But! Laura had some pictures developed from about three years ago, and my look has not changed all that much. Especially because I am trying to grow my hair out. I have realized that no matter how many times I grow my hair out, it still has the same overall scraggly, limp, bland, processed look. With a few variations time to time. Unfortunately, my looks haven't improved with time either.

Looking at pictures (and the mirror) confirm that my nightmares of the way I look are not nightmares, but real life! I am hoping that with the loss of ___ amount of pounds things will improve slightly. But I really don't think so, I think it will still be the squinty eyes, the wide smile, the huge chubby cheeks, the blobby nose and weird chin. And the scraggly hair.
How am I ever supposed to find my knight in shining armour if I look like a milk maid? I need to try more of the damsel look. But damsels in distress are supposed to be thin from all the worrying and waxing faint from waiting for their knight. =)

Anyway, I should prolly go study, and drink my apple juice.

This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

Ugly

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