If One Is Good, Three is... Scary

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Starting from a dare, a very long time ago, Pageant Barbie is just that, PAGEANT Barbie. In a month, she will be giving away her crown and for some unknown reason, Princess and I are participating in the pageant just for the stupid factor.

Make that the Stupid Embarassing So Incredibly Shameful I Will Never Leave The House Again Factor. Complete with lifetime scarring so I will never wear a swimsuit again.

We will have fun, but the preparing, starving, dreading and all that goes with it, is not so fun. Especially the bit where you have to wear a swimsuit, in the dead of winter, in front of a crowd of STRANGERS. If it were friends it would be worse. This is the one event The Fan Club CANNOT attend.

I have two prayers. First, please Dear God, do not let either of us win, that means Miss Delaware. Second, may every mean comment I have said in watching twelve pageants past, not come back to haunt me.

And one last thing, may Pageant Barbie not see this as a time for payback.

3 Responses to “If One Is Good, Three is... Scary”

  1. Blogger joy 

    If you don't want to do it, then, don't! I mean, what's the point in doing something you are so thoroughly dreading? Especially when you have absolutely no reason for putting yourself through the agony?

    So, if you are going to do it, have fun. But if it will be a chore, save your effort for something that will matter!

    (I am looking forward to hearing Laura kazoodle "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.")

  2. Blogger QOS 

    take lots of pictures. post them online.

  3. Anonymous Anonymous 

    LOL....You have to promise to post pictures online or less I'm coming to watch!!!! When does this pageant take place? I am soooo there....Is ringboy coming to watch Princess participate? I do feel your pain about the whole swimsuit/winter deal... I do disagree on one point though... You are secretly looking forward to this pageant...Admit it!!!!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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