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Violation Of The Senses

Published 7.2.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

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This weekend, upon doing some shopping with a friend, I stumbled across the source of All Fashion Crimes. Coldwater Creek. I cannot, no matter how eloquent my words, describe to you the astute horror that hangs from the racks of this store. I believe their designers are washed-up Pet Clothing Designers. Their masterful creations include, but are not limited to:

KNIT capri pants with embroidery at the ankles. ELASTICISED.

Coats with very, very fake shearling. Think nappy polar fleece.

Paisley pants. Need I say more?

Shirts that make you want to upholster your sofa, IN THE VERY SAME MATERIAL.

It was truly more than my soul could bear, all my senses cried out in protest. WHERE IS YOUR DIGNITY? WHY ARE YOU HERE? PLEASE JUST GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT AND MAKE US ALL HAPPIER.



If thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out...

2 Responses to “Violation Of The Senses”

  1. Blogger Life is better blonde  on February 07, 2005 6:22 PM  

    I know the feeling...the same kind of horror when you see someone wearing tapered ankle jeans.

  2. Blogger JameeJoy  on February 07, 2005 8:28 PM  

    Eww..eeww, or someone around the age of 65-ish wearing tight white (sheer) pants and a purple thongs..Excuse me while I go throw up.

    oh yeah, it's never ok to do that..no matter how old or in shape you are lol! *shudders* yuck.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

cookies for troops


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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