THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY WRITING STYLE


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Upon hearing that I am considering changing my major to journalism, one of my sisters tactfully suggested that I read Gregg's, The Elements of Style and the Lively Art of Writing. Citing that I sprinkle the comma's a bit too liberally.

Thank you, very much, I just want to make sure, that everyone knows, what I am talking about, is there anything wrong with that? Is, this, making anyone else, slightly aggravated?

perhaps. I will start. Being one of those people. Who likes periods. Allot. Allot. Allot. It. Makes. You. Feel. Like. You. Are. Riding. In. A. Car. With. A. Person. Who. Likes. To. Pump. The. Brakes. Allot. Allot. Allot. And. It. Gives. You. A. Headache. What. Fun!. See my nifty. Extra Period?

BUT THEN AGAIN, I AM SO INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT THAT I SHOULD USE CAPITALS ALL THE TIME SO EVERYONE KNOWS I AM A PSYCHOTIC ANGRY PERSON WHO NEEDS TO BE HEARD. RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!

or then again what is the point of capitalization grammar or even slight punctuation it simply cramps my style and this way i feel like emily dickonson or incredibly brilliant like ee cummings except i cannot rhyme if my life depended on it

Trailing off at the ends of my sentences... or even in the middle of them, for that matter... makes me feel like a indecisive dishrag... but is a tool that is much fun to annoy people with... Watch me trail... Like a slug... Who drank too much water...


All this to say: IT,... COULD,... be,... WORSE,... DAMMIT!..




I am actually looking to hone my writing skills and am quite grateful for the suggestions. Please feel free to tell me where I can improve or if you have any other useful tools that I might find helpful.


10 Responses to “THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY WRITING STYLE”

  1. Blogger Dave 

    Oh sure, i am goin to offer an opinion on your writing style after that, i would be afraid that you would put some sort of curse on me for even mentioning that you write like an exacerbated monkey.

  2. Blogger joy 

    Since you asked, it's "a lot" not "allot."

  3. Blogger Rick 

    you've probably already read it: BIRD BY BIRD by anne lamott. just write what you feel, punctuate how you feel, capitalize as you please. but write, write often, write a lot or alot or allot your writing - whatever.

  4. Blogger steelcowboy 

    Heck, do what you feel like. Have you seen the stuff that is getting published lately?

  5. Blogger VDOprincess 

    Dave-
    And would you care to explain exactly what an "exacerbated monkey" is? As far as I can tell, exacerbate, according to Merriam-Webster, means: to make more violent, bitter, or severe. Therefore "exacerbated" would be the past tense of that, and here's the kicker: it's a transitive verb. You were using it as an adjective, and that just won't work, my friend.

  6. Blogger Dave 

    Well since this isn't english class, and since grammar is on a daily basis butchered in blogs.....well i guess i am saying that if i want to use the word exacerbated to describe a monkey as an angry frazzled monkey.....well gosh darn.....i can :)

  7. Blogger VDOprincess 

    Think that. Just think that.

  8. Blogger Dave 

    HAHAHA i know i know i will never live up to the slabaugh blogging/writing abilities, so i just learn to live with it :)

  9. Blogger TSG 

    I just dig that you don't write with that "text message" slang or whatever the hell that is. That shit gives me a headache.

  10. Blogger Life is better blonde 

    I think your writing skills are quite good, and I never have to read over anything you write twice. Dave is just jealous because he needs to sprinkle in a few more commas:)

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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