My Mommy Doesn't Drive Like That


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Yes. Your Mommy drives under the speed limit, with both hands and her eyes on the road at all times.

I am not your Mommy.

A friend from work had asked me to babysit her children last night. It was her anniversary, and since I am the ONLY SINGLE PERSON AT MY WORKPLACE, that means I have nothing to do on a Saturday night better than watching a five and six year old. Right? And I can truthfully (and sadly) say, Right!

It really wasn't bad. Really. But, as I spent the evening in suburbia, complete with driving them around in the minivan, listening to Hillary Duff, eating fast food, watching That's So Raven, driving slowly with (both!) hands on the wheel, I decided I am so not cut out for this whole motherhood thing yet.



Is anyone actually cut out for motherhood, or is it a process of surrender?


6 Responses to “My Mommy Doesn't Drive Like That”

  1. Blogger Robin 

    The fact that you were able to drive with both hands on the wheel without having to toss snacks, juice containers, or fish toys from under the seat while keeping your eyes on the road in an effort to placate crying, screaming, or fighting children is either a strong indication that you are, in fact, cut out for motherhood, or that those kids were on some really good Ritalin.

  2. Blogger sandy 

    Honestly, for me, it was surrender. Sometimes I wonder how women have more than one child. I also can see why some women "flee." It comes down to patience and determination - I have to work very hard at both! BTW, it was v. nice of you to babysit for your friend. Do you watch Desperate Housewives?

  3. Blogger Porkchop 

    I have never seen Desperate Housewives... namely because Terry Hatcher does a fabulous job of being sufficiently annoying in print.

    As for the occasional baby-sitting, I just enjoy reminding myself why nieces and nephews are far better than the real McCoy.

  4. Blogger sandy 

    Thanks for the link, Porkchop. What does it mean to be a Certified Porkchop? It is exciting.

  5. Blogger Porkchop 

    It means you have the incredible priviledge of the possibility of being stalked by Jon37.

    And, if I ever come out with a book/t-shirt/memorabilia, you will be one of the special few who get it.

    *snort*

  6. Blogger sandy 

    ah, but i am quite a stalker myself. game on, jon. ya freak!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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