Valuable advice which I should be selling her. Even though she annoys me and gets on my nerves, I am kindly advising her on the ins and outs of survival here.

1. Hide your food from the VP. As demonstrated (again!) this morning, she will steal your food and then thank you for letting her have some.

2. Tell everyone the answer is no, and then have them ask the question. That way there is always the option of being nice, but it isn't expected.

3. The Grumpy Old Bitch will tell you your wrong, but your not. Agree with her, then ignore her and continue doing as you were doing. This will save you hours of therapy instead of learning it the hard way, like I did.

4. Use markers and highlighters to make notes on incorrect work, place prominently on other people's desks so there mistakes greet them when the walk in the door.

5. You are no one's bitch. Contrary to popular belief.

6. It is much easier to be hated in this job, than liked. If you are liked, you will not do any work but exhuast yourself my talking amongst the gremlins. If you are hated, you will have much more time to work. But everyone will have to eventually answer to you since you are doing there work in the first place.

7. Avoid the stairs in high-heels at all costs.

8. Threaten to quit every quarter so you will get a raise.

9. Your on your own.