This is why you have not heard from me, I am dangling out my office window, trying to jump.

When I first started training my replacement, I was more than a little worried that she wouldn't be able to hack it. She called out sick her second day and her fourth day she had to be gone for half of it to take her son to the doctor. It was as everyone was assuring her that was more than ok, that I realized she will fit right in. Snug as a bug in a rug.

She has the look, she has the attitude, she is super great material for this company. Her learning curve is right about where they need it. I mean this in all sincerity.

She wears plaid capri's, white sandals and a pink shirt. Her hair is amazingly flat but miraculously wider, through the wonders of frizz, than it is tall. She continually makes exasperated noises as she doesn't catch on quickly AT ALL and belittles my teaching skills. I will be the first to admit I am not the greatest teacher, patience has never been my strong suit, but when you have a pigheaded student IT DOESN'T HELP, GODDAMIT. She rolls her eyes and makes me repeat things. Several. Times.

I. Am. At. The. End. Of. My. Rope.