Last night I was up until about 1:45 and I had to get up around 6 this morning. So, as you can imagine, I am looking pretty rough. I managed to pick out a matching outfit and have a semblance of professionalism, but the dark circles under my eyes and the constant yawning are starting to give it away.

To make matter worse, since I work with a bunch of post-menopausal women, the air conditioning is turned up HIGH. And I mean HIGH. Desperate to keep myself warm, I dug into the winter closet and pulled out this hideous cartigan that looks like something that would be in the bargain bin of the thrift store. Blue, grey, teal and BRIGHT blue eighties patchwork style that has no buttons. So I am in this knee length quasi-quilt wrap, barefoot. Barefoot because, well, my feet hurt really bad. (Being pregn--, fat, does that to you, you know, makes your feet swell.)

I had to creep out to the front and make a few copies. No one of importance was around, so I continued forth in my bag lady attire. However, the temps were eyeing me a little oddly. Knowing it would probably make their day, I struck up a loud conversation with the receptionist:

"I know, I know, I totally look like a bum in this sweater, and it is only worsened by my bare feet".

The receptionist agrees and inquires regarding the bare feet.

"Well, you know, my feet hurt SO BAD, being up until one in the morning in really high heels does that to you."

I sigh.


"But, you know, that's the life of a stripper. Barefoot and pregnant in the morning."