Mauled By A Bear

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I was up all night long sneezing, hacking and generally being miserable. In the process of this, the inner lining of my eye swelled up so badly that it started irritating the rest of my eye. Thus, leaving me looking like a slightly retarted freak. (This is my one good eye that I can see out of.)

I feel like I have pulled an all nighter, minus the caffeine and accomplished work. Can we say I look like... something that crawled out of a very slimy rock. Not crawled out from under, mind you, but crawled out OF the rock. When people ask me what happened to my eye, rather than giving them explicit mucus-y details, I vaguely mention being mauled by a bear last night in a attempt to defend my the dogs who kept me up with their whining inbetween allergy attacks.

I have a job interview in a hour and a half.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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