The Men I Work With Need To Work On Their Game, Wait, They Don't HAVE Game

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You smell good. I know you mean that in the nicest way possible, but, when you make those audible sniffing noises, it really freaks me out. K? And, really, why are you that close to me that you can smell me?

Your adorable. I know this line must get you TONS of chicks, but you only call puppies and babies adorable. And that cute smile I was demonstrating is also known as my patient i.e. fake smile.

Will You Marry Me? Even though you are the person people were putting money on I would go out with, I find the fact you spent a year in the "big house" rather unattractive. I do not want to bear your children.

You have a really strong handshake, that's hot. The fact that I can crush your pathetic grip really worries me. But it does indicate if you try anything I will most assuredly be able to kick your ass.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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