You had a pretty close brush with death there, Bucko. That person who swerved while going eighty miles an hour was me. The person refraining from thrusting a middle finger your way, was also me. I know, I thought the thrusting of the entire splayed hand out the window infinately classier that the lone finger. If you think about it, I was kind of flicking you off five times over.

I digress. Back to the topic at hand, which would be you driving a piece of slow moving lawn manicuring equipment out onto the highway. Instead of taking the obvious route of You-Will-Probably-Get-Run-Over-And-If-You-Don't-Suffer-Life-Ending-Injuries-
Your-Face-Might-Get-Disfigured Lecture, I will just give you a quick How-Could-You-Endanger-The-Hood-Of-My-Car Peptalk. Because really, those geese I ran over awhile back, did enough damage. I don't need your excess belly fat gumming up my undercarriage. Or even worse, I would hate to smell burning human flesh. Please! Think a little here!

That's it. No scathing words or swear words directed to your obviously slightly deranged self. Just the quick note from the neighbor who would appreciate the machinery driving be saved for times when she isn't on the highway.

That's all! Cheers!

--Porkchop

P.S. I hope all your cars are ruined by flying wombats, you fat careless bastard.