I Can Barely Feed Myself

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Which may not be such a bad thing, considering I was just lamenting over my weight. But the REASON I cannot feed myself, barely get dressed or even drive to work, is I am SO FRICKIN' SORE.

As in: last night I came home from my workout and couldn't make it up the stairs. I slept on the couch.

When sitting down, I sort of flop into the chair, rather than carefully lowering myself. It takes too much muscle control to actually SIT.

My trainer missed his calling as a drill sergeant. Completely emotionless and more than willing to let me DIE. Well, I do have to give him credit, at one point, I do believe he thought I was going to a. kick him or b. burst into a string of expletives. He told me to chill the hell out, I was in no danger of dying.

I do believe, I have found someone I hate more than the people I work with.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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