Barbie: older sister. the frugal one. the one who feels guilty spending a dollar
Porkhop: younger sister. the one who pays the heat bill. who is learning to be frugal.
Scene: apartment. two women bundled in sweatshirts, sweatpants and scarves. a cold wind whistles through the hallway. Barbie is opening mail, Porkchop typing on her computer.
Barbie: (excitedly) Congratulations! All our freezing paid off! Our heat bill is $25 cheaper this month!
Porkchop: Yay!
they go back to their respective tasks. Porkchop fingers start to get a little stiff from the cold. Barbie layers on a blanket and hunkers down with a textbook.
Barbie: (cautiously) I know you pay the heat bill and all... but, is the heat even ON?
Porkchop: (pauses) eh. no. after that warm weather bit a few days ago, I turned the heat off and opened my window. it's supposed to be warm Thursday. I don't want to re-heat the WHOLE apartment, just to turn it off and open the windows again.
Barbie: (frozen silence) er, right.
Porkchop: just layer on a few more blankets! here, I'll even give you your slippers back. this living room is starting to feel quite cozy, compared to the rest of the apartment, almost womb like!
Barbie: why don't we just LAYER SOME PLASTIC OVER THE WINDOWS AND CALL IT A NIGHT?!
Porkchop: stop being dramatic. we survived much worse when we were children.
Barbie: WAIT! Did you say you HAD YOUR WINDOW OPEN until a few minutes ago?
Porkchop: eh. mebbe?
Barbie: (snaps textbook shut and holds her hand near the lightbulb to warm them) you top even ME!
If we never post again, look for us cold and frozen on our living room floor.
Hmm, you do realize the open window lets all that heat right on out, don't you?
I only ask because I remember when I was young and single I had some neighbors who were giggly girls my age and they honestly didn't comprehend these sorts of things. And now my brother-in-law has married this girl from South Georgia, well she's just about as dumb as a rock. Anyway, I'm sure you knew this about the window. I don't know why I even asked. I'm going to send you some scented candles and matches. They don't give off much heat, but if you put your hands real close they'll smell like lavender or green apples. At least that way after you two have died you'll both smell nice.
And smelling nice is good, especially considering that bathing is probably not a high priority when you live in a fridge.
lol. That's great. props to you for lowering your heat bill...
MS- I do realize this. I know I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, but the long lectures from my father about leaving the windows open with the air conditioning/heat on, did sink in pretty well.
vdo-- seriously. considering the fact you have to FREEZE dripping wet.
Joy-- Yes. But we'll see how well it works...
I am sure that you and your family are all bright crayons. I just had to take full advantage of this opportunity to harass you. I enjoyed it thoroughly and I thank you for it.